Tuesday 25 August 2015

My Edinburgh Fringe Debut

The Edinburgh Fringe, the world’s largest arts festival, is a celebration of all things kooky, quirky and arty, in one of Britain’s most charming cities. The Fringe needs no promotion; the streets are heaving constantly with punters and performers, and all the while there is an excited buzz about the place. And so, rather than attempt to ‘sell’ the fringe, I thought it better to recount a couple of my experiences, performing alongside professional comedians in the role of the conspicuous, crutching oaf.

First things first, I should preface everything with a warning: Edinburgh is a hilly city, full of winding cobbled streets and stone passageways, all of which can be slippery when wet. This being Scotland, rain is never far away and when you add a dash of ‘cumbersome man on crutches’ to this steep, wet and bumpy concoction, the results can be amusing for a fortunate onlooker. Luckily for me, I kept falling over to a minimum, despite taking the odd rather embarrassing tumble.

Spooky Edinburgh by night
However, undoubtedly my most embarrassing moment spent on the floor in Edinburgh came during a show. ‘Goose’ was a fast-paced, quite bizarre, one-man comedy show, full of terrible jokes and, alas, audience participation. In a dramatic plot twist, it was revealed that members of the public would be roped in to act the final scene. The chosen two were a young man wearing an outfit that wouldn’t look out of place in a B*Witched music video, and me. I was pulled on stage, the large boot on my left leg apparently nothing more than a fashion statement and invited to dance with a fellow audience member on stage. I desperately protested that I was unable to walk, but this didn’t deter my, for want of a better word, colleague. Following the odd instructions blaring out of the speakers, he threw me to the floor, straddled me and leaned in to kiss me. Helpless and confused, but not wanting to ruin the show, I avoided squirming too much as the lips of this effervescent and frankly audacious man met mine. It was an unexpected surprise, but one that caused great amusement. It is a mark of the quality of the show that I left feeling satisfied, despite being forced to go through such an ordeal.

Far, far, FAR too close...
Other shows passed without incident. Comedian Jimeoin and multivocal, loop-pedalling musician, Beardyman, were both excellent. But during Ivo Graham’s stand-up gig, the curse of my leg would strike again. A sitting target for conversation, it was perhaps unwise to sit in the front row, but it is the kind of poor judgement that has arguably defined the last few months of my life. I panicked unforgivably when put under the spotlight and gave rather silly answers to his questions about Tinder, the dating app, in that they invited laughs and further questioning. The ins and outs of what I said are trivial details, and if anything, the upshot of all of this is that I received a reply to my tweet from Ivo himself, and we are therefore now best of friends.

The first step to impending stardom
The festival is sensational. It is no wonder that thousands of performers and punters return year after year to indulge in its delights. “My Fringe” was eventful and very enjoyable. I would highly recommend making the trip if you haven’t been as the abundance and standard of shows is astonishing. Although, if you’re a broken man on crutches, perhaps it’s best to steer clear, to save your health and your dignity.



Wednesday 12 August 2015

Paradise Found

Paradise is an overused term. The slightest hint of a white, sandy beach and clear, blue water has become synonymous with the word. We picture an idyllic, tranquil spot, hidden from prying eyes and bathed in the warm rays of a setting sun. But with a plethora of these so-called ‘paradise’ beaches to choose from all over the world, it is surely reasonable to demand more from our idea of utopia?

An alternative paradise?
Tayrona National Park in Colombia offers a lot more than just the backdrop of pristine Caribbean beaches. It is rich in wildlife, historical relics, mountainous terrain and rainforest, all of which make this park a paradise for all types of traveller. I would strongly recommend Hotel Jasayma as a place to stay. An intentional lack of electricity meant that we would sleep and rise with the sun, often greeted by the call of monkeys in the trees just metres from the luxurious four-poster beds. Delicious meals were included in the price and the location was central enough for us to explore all areas of the park, but without the irritation of too many other foreigners.

Hotel Jasayma
If it is beaches you seek, then Tayrona has plenty: Cabo San Juan, La Piscina, Los Naranjos and Arrecifes are some of the most popular, but the further away from the crowds, the more secluded and ‘paradisiacal’ they become. One could easily spend days lounging around on Tayrona’s beaches, reading, sunbathing, swimming and perhaps playing a spot of beach golf.

A secluded morning at Los Naranjos
Although Tayrona is abundant in beautiful beaches, its real beauty lies in the interior. Hiking through forests among a staggering variety of wildlife is exciting and as the rocky passes climb higher and higher, the views of the water and beaches become ever more impressive. The park is reportedly home to over 300 species of bird, as well as hundreds of mammals and sea-dwelling creatures, so it’s the perfect spot for animal enthusiasts.

Cutting a path through the jungle
I would highly recommend hiking up to the ancient relics of El Pueblito, formerly home to a local tribe, but now resembling something similar to a tiny version of Machu Pichu, but devoid of tourists and hidden away in the trees. The walk is demanding, especially in the sweltering heat that often engulfs the forest, but the track cuts a beautiful path through the trees from the edge of the park on one side and then down through rocky traverses on its way to the beach on the other. There are few things more refreshing than a dip in the turquoise sea after several hours of tough, sweaty hiking.

Everyone has different expectations of the perfect place to relax or while away the hours on holiday, but Tayrona has all the attributes to meet and possibly exceed most of those expectations. Parque Nacional de Tayrona: paradise found.


Paradise Found